This story is disgusting, so if you are squeamish, DON'T READ

Ok, I can tell my story, possibly without even gagging.
Sunday after church, I was starving for lunch, so I made myself a huge, really healthy salad and it was delicious. I was still a bit hungry when I finished it, so what did I top it off with...A banana split. Which was fantastic. While I am enjoying my split, Abram comes out of his room covered in marker from head to toe, so I send him and Scarlett off too the bath to wash off their creations. While in their bath, Scarlett screams to me that Abram has pooped in the bath! For some reason he thinks this is hilarious, but I warn him every time if he poops, he will get in a lot of trouble. Normally it is just one or two tiny little floaters, sorry for the TMI, but this time it was a full bowel movement swirling around the bath. So gross, so I make the kids get out of the bath and they have to pull the plug because there is no way I am sticking my arm in that.
So I take them into their rooms and see the mural they left on their walls. Not only did they cover their bodies with their markers, but their whole wall too. Scarlett blamed Abram, Abram blamed Scarlett...but it was quite obvious that this was a collaborative effort. So I went and got the simple green, which makes me gag, and scrubbed down the walls while the kids were sentenced to their beds until told otherwise. Thank goodness for washable markers.
So I had to go back into the bathroom and depoop the bathtub. This is a disgusting task, that was only exacerbated by the fact I was already gagging from the Simple Green, so needless to say, I lost my salad and my banana split in the toilet with the kids, now out of their beds, watching me, asking me why I am throwing up, did I eat too much, they were sorry for coloring on the walls, so on and so forth.
When I was threw throwing up, I re sentenced them to their beds, where they remained for the next 30 minutes.
When Seth arrived home, I was so upset. I just had it with my children and asked him if it was ok if we gave them up for adoption. I didn't really mean it, but didn't know what else to do. I also told him we had to get rid of our dogs because I didn't need anything else to take care. I was bawling and poor Seth was trying his best to sooth me and tell me it wasn't that bad and that I just needed to go lay down and he would take care of everything. I proceeded to get even more upset that he was being so calm. Obviously he had no idea why I was so upset, and the truth was I didn't really either.
To end this disgusting post, I will have a few thanks to hand out...Thanks to washable markers, thanks to husbands that stay calm when their pregnant wives are totally losing it, thanks for not taking pictures of this post (I am thanking myself for you all), and one last thanks to myself and my pregnancy hormones for not gagging me this whole post!
I guess I can't relax and enjoy a few minutes to eat my healthy lunch of salad and banana splits when I have two children that are determined to get the best of me, and they truly are.